Jesus and Friendship: 5 Lessons on How to Love Our Friends Well

A Different Kind of Love Story

Friendship is one of the greatest gifts God gives us, but we don’t always treat it that way. We celebrate romantic love with grand gestures and anniversaries, but friendship? It often feels like a side note—something good to have, but not necessarily something we fight for.

But Jesus saw friendship differently. He didn’t just have friends—He loved them deeply, sacrificially, and intentionally. He wept with them, walked with them, fought for them, and ultimately laid down His life for them.

So what does it mean to love our friends the way Jesus loved His? To move beyond surface-level companionship into friendships that are sacred, life-giving, and God-centered? Here are 5 lessons from Jesus on how to love our friends well.

Love Through Presence, Not Just Words

In our world of constant distractions, presence is rare. We text. We like posts. We send quick check-ins. But Jesus was fully present with His friends. He sat with them. He listened. He noticed their fears, their struggles, their unspoken needs.

When Mary and Martha’s brother Lazarus died, Jesus didn’t just offer comforting words—He showed up. And before performing a miracle, He first wept with them. (John 11:35) His love was not just about fixing problems, but about entering into the pain and the joy of those He loved.

Real friendship isn’t just about speaking love—it’s about showing up, fully, in the moments that matter.

Love With Truth, Even When It’s Hard

A friendship built only on comfort and agreement is not real friendship—it’s avoidance. Jesus loved His friends enough to tell them the truth, even when it was difficult.

When Peter tried to talk Jesus out of going to the cross, Jesus rebuked him: “Get behind me, Satan! You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Matthew 16:23) That sounds harsh, but it was necessary. Jesus knew that true love does not stay silent when a friend is walking away from God’s purpose.

Loving our friends like Jesus means choosing truth over comfort—even when it’s uncomfortable, even when it risks the friendship. Because real love doesn’t just keep people happy; it keeps them holy.

Love Through Service, Not Status

The world says friendship is about what we get—support, encouragement, fun. But Jesus flipped that idea upside down. He didn’t seek friendships for what they could give Him—He sought to serve.

On the night before His crucifixion, Jesus—the Son of God, the King of Kings—got down on His knees and washed His disciples’ feet. (John 13:14-15) It was the ultimate act of humility, a reminder that true friendship is not about being honored, but about honoring others.

Loving our friends well means asking: How can I serve them? How can I make their burden lighter? How can I show up for them, not just when it’s convenient, but when it costs me something?

Because real love isn’t about status—it’s about sacrifice.

Love By Forgiving, Again and Again

Friendships are messy. People fail us. They disappoint us. They hurt us. And the temptation is to walk away, to decide the friendship isn’t worth the pain.

But Jesus loved through failure. When Peter denied Him three times, Jesus didn’t write him off—He restored him.(John 21:15-17) When His disciples abandoned Him in His hardest moment, He didn’t reject them—He called them back.

Loving like Jesus means choosing grace over grudge. It means understanding that real friendships aren’t perfect—they are built on forgiveness.

Love With Commitment, Not Convenience

Jesus was not a fair-weather friend. He didn’t love based on how people treated Him. He loved fully, knowing He would be betrayed, abandoned, and rejected.

He calls us to love that way too. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13)

Friendship, the way Jesus modeled it, is not about convenience—it’s about covenant. It is not just for the good days; it is for the storms, the breakdowns, the moments when love requires endurance. Because love that is only present when it’s easy was never real to begin with.

Loving Our Friends Like Jesus

Jesus didn’t just have friends. He loved them—fully, sacrificially, without condition. He showed up. He spoke truth. He served. He forgave. He stayed. And then He gave everything to bring them closer to the Father.

If we are to love as He did, then our friendships cannot be casual, disposable, or surface-level. They must be built on presence, truth, service, forgiveness, and unwavering commitment.

Because in the end, friendship is not just something we experience—it is something we give. And the love we give will be the love that lasts.

💛 The Salt & Light Family