Is He/She ‘The One’? 5 Biblical Signs of a Godly Relationship

The Question That Never Goes Away

Love is intoxicating. It rushes in, fills the spaces in your heart you never knew were empty. It makes the world feel brighter, lighter, full of promise. But in the quiet moments—the ones between the late-night conversations and the whispered "I love you’s"—there’s another voice. A question that lingers no matter how much you try to silence it.

Is this really the person God has for me?

We want certainty. We want assurance that this love won’t unravel, that this person won’t just be a love but the love—the one God handpicked for us, the one we were always meant to find.

But God never calls us to navigate love by feeling alone. His voice is steadier than emotion, His wisdom greater than chemistry. The Bible doesn’t give us a step-by-step guide to identifying "The One," but it does give us truths about what a godly relationship looks like—truths that, if we’re willing to see them, will either confirm what’s right or expose what’s wrong.

So, if you find yourself wondering, hoping, doubting—start here: 5 biblical signs that this love is truly from God.

1. The Relationship Strengthens, Not Strains, Your Faith

Love is never neutral. It either pulls you closer to God or distracts you from Him.

A godly relationship will never make you choose between your faith and your future together. It will never cause you to shrink spiritually, to lower your convictions, to drift away from prayer, Scripture, or your walk with Christ. It will never make faith feel optional or inconvenient.

Instead, it will challenge you. It will inspire you. It will push you toward holiness, not just happiness.

Ask yourself: Since I’ve been with this person, have I grown closer to God or further from Him? The answer will tell you more than feelings ever could.

2. Your Relationship Reflects Christlike Love—Not Just Passion

The world defines love by intensity, by chemistry, by the way someone makes you feel. But biblical love is not about butterflies—it’s about fruit.

Look at how this person loves you, and how you love them in return. Does it reflect patience? Kindness? Selflessness? A willingness to forgive? Or is it full of pride, jealousy, control, or conditions?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives us a measuring stick for real love, not just romance. If your relationship is built on nothing but attraction and emotion, it will collapse the moment it's tested. But if it’s built on the character of Christ, it will endure.

3. The Relationship Brings Peace, Not Constant Confusion

God does not lead us into uncertainty, nor does He call us to relationships that leave us spiritually drained and emotionally restless. If your relationship is full of constant doubt, emotional highs and lows, and a deep sense of uncertainty, that is not God’s design.

This doesn’t mean that godly relationships are free of struggle. Love requires work, commitment, and grace. But it should never feel like a warzone where your heart is always fighting for clarity that never comes.

Colossians 3:15 reminds us to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts. If you feel more anxious than assured, more restless than at rest, it may be time to ask if this relationship is truly aligned with God’s plan for you.

4. You Both Share the Same Faith and Purpose

It is not enough for someone to simply believe in God. A shared faith is about more than checking the same religious box—it’s about sharing a foundation, a vision, a direction.

If one of you is deeply committed to Christ and the other is indifferent, if your values are misaligned, if your faiths pull you in different directions rather than walking in step—it will cause more pain than passion in the long run.

Amos 3:3 asks, Can two walk together unless they are agreed? Love cannot thrive when your faiths are divided. Make sure your hearts are running toward the same eternal goal.

5. The Relationship Encourages You to Become More, Not Less, of Who God Created You to Be

Love should refine you, strengthen you, call you higher. It should push you toward becoming the person God made you to be—not make you feel like you have to shrink, compromise, or abandon your calling just to keep the relationship alive.

A godly partner will see your purpose, your passion, your unique calling—and they will encourage you in it, not compete with it. They will support the dreams God has given you, not ask you to bury them in the name of love.

If this relationship makes you less joyful, less confident in God’s plan, less free to be who He created you to be, then love is no longer love—it has become a cage.

Is This Person 'The One'?

Maybe you were hoping for a clear yes or no, a flashing sign from heaven confirming that this relationship is the one you’re meant to fight for—or the one you’re meant to walk away from.

But love is never that simple.

The truth is, there is no singular "soulmate" that determines whether or not you will have a godly marriage. God does not give us only one perfect match—He gives us wisdom to discern what kind of love truly honors Him.

If this relationship aligns with biblical love, if it strengthens your faith, if it gives peace instead of confusion, if it encourages you to pursue God and His purpose for you—then it is worth building.

But if, deep down, you already know that something is off—that you’ve been ignoring the warnings, silencing the unease, convincing yourself that love alone is enough to fix what is broken—then maybe the answer has been clear all along.

Love was never meant to lead you away from God. The right relationship will never require you to abandon Him to keep it. Because the person God has for you will never compete with the God who made you.

💛 The Salt & Light Family